The pause between pain and peace

There is a quiet alchemy in the pause.

It is the moment when the body stops running on fumes, when the heart lays down its armour, and the mind no longer races to keep pace with its own noise. In this stillness, there is medicine — not the kind dispensed in bottles, but the kind offered freely by the beauty of life when we avail ourselves to receive it.

I have learnt that I cannot pour from an empty cup. And so, I chose to pause — not as a retreat from life, but as an act of deep participation in it.

In the past month, I placed myself where my soul could drink from: among the rustle of leaves and the breath of ocean air, in the firelight of sunsets, in the laughter and tears of like-minded people, in the grounding weight of a hand held in silent understanding.

I placed a pause on being a holder of space for others, and for 3 full weeks, I allowed other experienced keepers of wisdom and energy healers to bless me with their guidance and abundance.

I rented a room that opened to the vastness of the ocean and simply stood at its edge to feel its endless pulse, day and night. I dove into its cool embrace, letting the salt water cleanse more than just my skin — it washed my mind, my grief, my fatigue. Frolicking like a child in its waves, I remembered a lighter version of myself, unburdened and laughing. The ocean reminded me that I, too, am made of tides, and that my ebb is as natural as my flow.

In the heart of the numerous community circles i sat in, I found medicine in the voices of others and my own. Kirtan carried me, each chant weaving threads between hearts. Live music filled the air — raw, unrehearsed, non-replicable — and I moved with a sense of pure abandonment. These moments weren’t curated for perfection; their magic came from the freedom of expression, the way every beat, every lyric was born in the moment and would never exist the same way again.

The fleeting nature of everything made each moment burn brighter, I was alive in the truest sense, held by both the light and the shadow of life.

Where my heart had been so empty from a merciless slew of losses, love filled me up. Love is not confined to romance. It spills into friendship, into the warmth of strangers becoming kin, into the shared sigh when the sun dips below the horizon. It lives in platonic touch, in belly laughter, in the comfort of sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with people who see you. It is love in all its seven colours, in every shade between.

The pause is not an absence. It is fertile ground. It is where the next breath becomes deeper, where the next chapter gathers strength. It is where pain loosens its grip, and peace extends its hand, not to erase the pain but to hold it in an open, accepting embrace.

With love,

Gabrielle

“Peace cannot be forced from outside, it is a consequence of how we are within ourselves.”

- Sadhguru