Who Supports the People Who Support Everyone Else?

You send the wellbeing invitation, remind the team to take a break and make sure everyone knows support is available. But when the session begins, you’re still at your desk, catching up on everything else. 

In Resourced for the Road Ahead, I wrote about making time to replenish before a busy season of holding space for others. I return to that intention when I think about mental wellness in the workplace: HR professionals, managers and wellbeing champions deserve a place in the care they help arrange.

Perhaps you recognise the odd experience of sending a reminder for a wellbeing session while wondering whether you will get to attend. Or of being asked how the team is doing, when nobody has quite asked how you are.

The work that does not appear in the calendar

A conversation can finish before the feelings it stirred have settled.

You might keep your voice reassuring while a colleague describes something upsetting. Or explain an organisational change while quietly wondering what it means for your own future.

In The Managed Heart, sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild explores emotional labour: managing feelings and their expression to meet the demands of paid work. It is more specific than simply being busy or caring about people.

I find that distinction useful. Someone can respond thoughtfully and still need time to consider what the conversation brought up for them.

Composure should not become the reason nobody offers support.

What support does a corporate wellness manager need?

Whether corporate wellness manager is your job title or one responsibility among many, useful support should reach beyond another course on helping colleagues. I would begin with three practical arrangements.

Someone to consult when you are unsure

There should be an agreed person to approach when a situation leaves you wondering, “Am I the right person to help with this?”

According to the World Health Organization’s guidelines on mental health at work, workers trained to respond to colleagues in distress should preferably receive supervision or support around boundaries, referral, confidentiality and the effect on their own mental health.

An organisation could arrange access to a qualified mental health professional for this consultation, with clear rules about what can be discussed. Knowing who to contact is more useful than being told, “Reach out whenever you need.”

Clear limits that the organisation will uphold

The same WHO guidance makes an important distinction: mental health training does not equip managers to diagnose or treat mental health conditions.

I would want HR professionals and wellbeing champions to have a clear handover route, too. Who handles concerns outside their role? Who covers when they are unavailable? What remains their responsibility afterwards?

For example, a manager may continue arranging work adjustments while a qualified clinician handles assessment or treatment.

A boundary is much kinder when it is an agreed arrangement, rather than a line one person must repeatedly defend.

A chance to participate without being on duty

Before the next session, ask the organiser whether they would like to take part. Then arrange for someone else to handle arrivals, messages and practical questions.

Otherwise, their name may appear on the attendance list while their attention remains at the door.

This is a particular version of what I explored in When Workplace Wellness Feels Like More Work. Being in the room and being available to receive the experience are not quite the same thing.

A place where you do not have to be the HR person

“Speak to HR” becomes complicated when you are HR.

There is a difference between consulting someone about a colleague’s situation and talking about your own experience. The first might ask, “What should happen next?” The second might begin, “I have been thinking about that conversation all evening.”

Mental wellness in the workplace should make room for both.

For personal support, I would look for a route outside the usual reporting relationship where appropriate, with direct booking and a clear explanation of confidentiality. Ask who can see appointment information, what is recorded and when information might need to be shared.

It also matters that the conversation can concern life beyond work. Nobody should have to translate grief, relationship difficulties or uncertainty into a productivity problem before being heard.

In An Offering of Human Connection, I reflected on being received as a person, beyond the labels we carry. Here, that might mean having somewhere to speak without needing to turn the conversation back towards somebody else.

Support belongs in the ordinary weeks, too

I would not make exhaustion the entry requirement.

A new role, a growing team or a project you care about can be a good occasion to ask what would help you feel supported. There does not need to be a dramatic story behind the request.

The reflection in The Window is Always Moving offers a gentle starting point: rather than judging yourself against yesterday, notice what feels available today.

You might ask, “Would I appreciate some quiet, a conversation, or guidance with something I am unsure about?”

OASIS Workplace Wellbeing Seminars bring together stress education, guided reflection and practical ways to pause. This approach connects learning about stress with noticing our own experience.

HR and managers can be included as learners in their own right, rather than attending only to gather ideas for others. A seminar offers learning and practice; it does not replace individual clinical care or professional consultation.

Leave a place for the person who sent the invitation

At the next wellbeing planning conversation, try one small change: ask the people arranging support what they would find useful themselves. Agree one arrangement, name who will make it happen, and return to it later.

That might be enough to turn a general reassurance into something a person can actually use.

To explore this with your organisation, discover the ways to invite OASIS into your workplace. Begin with what your people are experiencing, including those usually doing the organising.

For me, mental wellness in the workplace feels more complete when the invitation reaches its sender, too. There is a place for them, even when they have nothing to organise, explain or offer in return.

Frequently asked questions

How can a small organisation support its only HR professional?

Start with a named external consultation contact and an agreed budget for personal support. Arrange cover for urgent work during appointments. Another senior person should help put these arrangements in place, so the HR professional is not left administering every aspect of their own care.

Should HR and managers attend wellbeing sessions with their teams?

Offer a choice. Someone may welcome a shared practice but prefer a separate group or private appointment for personal concerns. Ask privately what feels comfortable. Attending to receive support should not come with an expectation to supervise, lead discussion or demonstrate vulnerability.

How can HR seek support without sharing confidential employee information?

Begin with your own response rather than somebody else’s identifiable story. For case-specific consultation, use authorised channels and agree what can be shared; omitting a name may not protect identity in a small team. WHO specifically identifies confidentiality as an area where people supporting colleagues need guidance.